Living the Dream

From the time I was little, I wanted to be a stay at home mom. It's the only thing I wanted to do. It's the name I wanted to make for myself and now it's the name that I have. I will always have the name of mom and I feel blessed to have it. Besides my husband, my kids are the most important things in my life.

Although I love being a mom, it's not all sunshine and lollipops. There are those moments when your kids are well behaved or doing something that you've been trying to teach them. You get insanely proud of little accomplishments. There are those seemingly perfect moments where all is right. However, being a mom isn't glamorous. At the end of the day, I'm usually covered in spit up, drool, and snot. Sometimes I get peed and pooped on. Getting a shower in at some point during the week is a highlight. Getting to use the bathroom on my own, if at all, is a miracle. I sing songs and babble like an idiot to keep my kids happy. 

I don't have any personal space anymore. If I am sitting, I'm not alone, unless it's nap or bedtime. I sat today and read the same book to my 20 month old at least 5 times in a row because he wanted to. Yeah, I got tired of reading that particular book, but he loved it and that's all that mattered to me. I sit and feed my almost 3 month old every 1-2 hours. I usually sit on the floor, hold the baby, and play with the toddler all at the same time. There have been times that I'm holding both kids in my lap, reading a book or sometimes even feeding one and holding the other. If I dare to try to have alone time, like sitting and typing this, it means that either the kids are asleep or I'm ignoring the destruction going on (like David making a mess with his lunch right now).

I am grateful for a husband who sees it as his responsibility to provide for me and the kids, which allows me to stay at home. I could go out into the world and work if I wanted to, but I wouldn't appreciate that job like I treasure the job I have now. The truth is that I do work. I work hard. I just don't get paid in dollars for it. I get paid instead by having healthy happy kids who give me kisses, laughs, snuggles, and smiles. Some days, there aren't many smiles to go around for whatever reason.

For me, it's worth all the tears. It's worth all the frustration; it's worth all the sleeplessness. It's worth all the screams, poop, and snot. It's worth every last second because I'm doing the work that matters the most to me. I am living my dream.