Monday, June 30, 2008

Under Pressure

With Ashton out of a job right now, there has been some push for me to get a job from well-meaning friends and family. It makes sense right? I'm done with school, besides needing to finish up my online class, and so I would be the perfect candidate to go out and get a job. Although it makes a certain kind of sense to my head, my stomach sinks whenever I hear someone telling me that I should get a job.

It's not that I'm lazy and don't want to work. I enjoying being busy and doing that kind of work. I mean growing up, I had the same summer job since I was 10 or 11 years old until last summer. There's no way I would have stuck with it if I didn't like what I did.

So, what's the problem? Well, it's the type of job that I'd have to do. The majority of the jobs that I could get nearby I would hate....seriously hate. I don't think I'd enjoy bagging groceries, flipping burgers, making pizza, or anything of that sort...and let's face it, all my hard work to get back into shape and lose the extra chub would be lost. If I did get a job bagging groceries, or anything like that, I'd probably count down the days until I could quit from day 1. What fun is that? If I have to get a job, I'd want it to be something that I at least like doing.

Yes, yes...the voices in my head are screaming all kinds of old sayings. Most particularly the saying about how we all have to do things that we don't want to keeps re-surfacing. I'd like to believe, and sincerely do, that if it came down to it, I'd take any job that came my way and would do my best to be happy about it.

So, what would be my ideal job? Who knows? I've never really made a plan B in case my plan A fell through. It'd be nice to be able to do something with landscaping or photography seeing as I love doing both. That would probably be a job that I could enjoy and look forward to going to. I could probably do multiple things all at the same time since I enjoy multitasking even though it's stressful sometimes.

Guess we'll just see what happens.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Decisions, decisions, decisions

So, this is going to be a different kind of post. I took some pictures of some roses that I got a while ago when we bought our car and I want to frame one of them. After looking through all of them and demanding that Ashton give me his input, we narrowed the selection down to 4. So now, I want your input because I'm lousy with making these kinds of decisions. So, here it goes.

#1

#2

#3

#4


So, let me know which is your favorite!

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

What defines me

Ashton and I were talking the other night. It was one of the only conversations that we've managed to have in bed without him falling asleep...you'd think I'd have learned by now not to start conversations in bed. Nope...I'm no quicky. Anyways, the conversation itself isn't important, but I've started to think about what my "thing" is. You know, people just have something that they do that defines them, like a hobby or whatever. Like I'd say that computer programming is Ashton's thing. Although, he'd probably define it as reading...depending on whether we're talking about something you do in leisure or just something you do in general. I've taken it in a more general sense.

Either way, I'm not quite sure what my thing is. There are plenty of things that I'd like to be doing and that I like doing. There's just so many of them that I don't know which I would classify as my thing if any of them.

I love just being active, hiking, playing soccer, running around with nieces and nephews, and things like that. Oh, and I love photography; if I had a picture frame for every picture I've taken, there wouldn't be any blank space of the wall. I have so many pictures that I would love to put up somewhere and many more that I love, but unsure about what to do with.

Sure, I love not doing things, too or the less physically active anyways. I like reading and when I can get a book in my hands that I can completely get into, you won't be seeing or hearing from me until I get it finished. Scrap booking is also a fun hobby and gives me something to do with some of the pictures I take. Music is also fun and I love just listening to good music or playing the piano. Such a great stress reliever, too.

Anyways, you start to see my problem. I like doing so many things and they're so combinable that it's hard to just pick one. The more I think about it, the more activities I come up with. Maybe I should just pick my favorite and call that my thing. I mean, it's not like I only have to do that one thing. So, why am I having such a hard time coming up with my thing? Well, it's hard to find one activity that defines you, or at least mostly defines you. Who knows?

Monday, June 23, 2008

What a weekend...

It's been one of those weekends. You know the kind I mean, the ones where it's like a roller coaster; up and down, so you just wait until the ride is over and try not to hurl over the side. Well, like I said, it's been one of those. I'm not quite sure where to start, so we'll start at the beginning on Thursday.

Thursday started out fantastic. I studied almost all day, memorizing a previous, 90 some odd question test. I did pretty good memorizing it because on the test I was able to whip out those answers. So, all and all I took the test and I think I did pretty good, but I don't really care how I did because that was my last final...EVER! It felt pretty darn good to turn that sucker in and walk out that door and leave the BYU campus. I almost did cartwheels.

Life definitely wouldn't be the same if we were allowed great moments without some kind of trial following. Ours just happened to follow a few hours later. Ashton got laid off from his job. The company that he worked for hasn't been doing so well lately and there have been many waves of lay-offs. Thankfully, Ashton managed to keep his job for a few weeks because they really liked the work that he does. Unfortunately, they were told to make more cuts and Ashton was on the list.

We're still getting used to the idea that Ashton doesn't have a job and it's been hard on both of us. We've spent a good portion, if not all, of the weekend trying to figure out what we're going to do as far as....well...everything, but most importantly, Ashton's classes. He still has 3 more classes to take and we're trying to figure out when he can take them.

Thankfully though, Ashton's dad knows a lot of people and has been able to give out Ashton's name to them and give some more names to Ashton to check out. Also, Ashton has some friends who also work with computers and has been able to enlist their help as well. So, we're very hopeful that he'll be able to get a job soon. In fact, Ashton has a job interview today.

Onto happier news, Melissa, my sister-in-law, got married on Friday in the Salt Lake Temple. It was a beautiful day and everything ran pretty smoothly. We're really happy for them and look forward to being able to spend time with them when they get back from the honeymoon and get settled in. We took lots of pictures, so I'll post some of them when I get them onto my computer.

Monday, June 16, 2008

The End is Here!

I am about to have a lot more free time on my hands as today is the last day of classes for me...forever! Sure, I still have to take my two finals and then finish up my online class, but that hardly counts. The online class is pretty easy and won't take too much time to finish up and I'm just not worried about the finals...although maybe I should be.

The end of the semester couldn't have come at a better time either as it the Euro Cup is going on right now. It's hard to care about school work when you have futbol (soccer) playing on your TV. Even if I could convince myself to turn off the TV, I'd be distracted because I'd be wondering who was winning and what was going on. Besides, it keeps me less stressed out about school.

It's also entertaining for Ashton to watch or listen to me watch the games. If there's one game that I'll always get worked up about while watching on TV, it'll be soccer every time. That means that there's going to be yelling, fist shaking, jumping up and down...the whole works. I'm sure it's just as entertaining for Ashton to watch me as it is the game.

I'm not one to be able to sit around and do nothing though for long periods of time. I get bored and then have to do something...drives Ashton nuts. So, I'll have to find different stuff to keep myself busy. For the first few weeks, at least, I'll have a lot of different projects to get done. I'll finally have time to clean up that second bedroom and empty out the rest of the boxes, or at least put them out of sight. I'll also have time to maybe catch up on my scrapbooking and some other fun picture projects.

We'll see how long I last.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Husband Tag

So, Stacy and Lance (my sister and brother-in-law) tagged Ashton to do a husband post. Ashton's doing homework and I'm bored so I decided to make up all kinds of lies about him and post them...just kidding, I'll tell the truth.


What is my name?
Ashton Stokes Halladay

How long have you been together?
We have been married for one year and 6 days, but it's been one year and nine months since we've started dating.

How long did you date?
We dated for 2 months before getting "unofficially" engaged. Then we dated for 2 more months before we became officially engaged and told everyone. Then it was another 4 months before we got married. So all in all...8 months.

How old is he?
27 years old. He turns 28 next month. Yeah, he's quite a bit older than me.

Who eats more?
That's a tough call...I probably do...I was born a Stinson after all.

Who said I love you first?
He actually did. It took me a few days to reply in turn even though I knew I loved him.

Who is taller?
Ashton is...thank goodness!

Who can sing better?
Ashton has declared that I do. (He doesn't think that he can sing...I think he's wrong).

Who is smarter?
Well, given that Ashton can do all kind of black magic on computers and I can't...I'd say he is. He, of course, has chosen the more diplomatic answer of "that's a toss-up"

Who does the laundry?
When we had to drag the laundry down the hill, he did. Now that we have a washer and dryer at home, I do. He helps fold sometimes.

Who pays the bills?
Ashton does.

Who sleeps on the right side?
Well, that depends on which way you're looking at the bed. If it's while you're on it, then Ashton does (unless I take it over); if it's while you're staring at it, then it's me! Unless, of course, I've taken over his side, then he gets up and changes sides.

Who mows the lawn?
The nice maintenance crew...

Who cooks dinner?
Da wifey most of the time...occasionally it's da hubby.

Who drives?
It used to be Ashton hands down...now it's more of a toss-up. Depends on which car we want to take.

Who is more stubborn?
It depends on what it is and how badly we want to win that fight. In which case, I am.

Who kissed who first?
Ashton kissed me first...he says I was giving him "the look" (whatever that is).

Who asked who out first?
I am proud to say that I asked Ashton out first...and then on our second date.

Who proposed?
Ashton proposed to me...technically twice I guess...on January 13, 2007 at Thanksgiving Point.

Who has more friends?
According to Facebook...which is the best way to judge anything, says that I do. Although, I'm sure that Ashton does if we were to really count friends.

Who is more sensitive?
That would be the wife.

Who has more siblings?
Also, the wife...really no contest in this one.

Who wears the pants?
Well....I think we take turns. Ashton brings home "the bacon" and pays bills and all that jazz...but I definitely keep him in line (someone's got to).

I tag
Andrew...or really it'd be tagging Mandy since she's probably the one who would do it.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Politics

I don't know about the rest of you, but I've been a lot more aware of the political scenario in the past year. This has been mostly due to the fact that I had a lot of free time on my hand during last summer and we didn't get the best channels so CNN became what we watched a lot of to avoid bad TV shows. As a result, I became more interested and aware of the political scene. So, I've followed most of the debates and primaries, picking out my favorite candidates, being sad when some of them gave up and having to pick out new ones, and picking on the ones I didn't like.

Although I'm not registered as a Democrat, I was very excited to see last night that Barack Obama gained the number he needed to be the presumptive nominee for the Democratic Party. He is a much better choice for the Democratic Party than Hillary Clinton. We listened to the speeches that all the candidates made (including John McCain) and we were confused and shocked that Clinton didn't offer a better bridge to Obama. We probably shouldn't have been because that's just the Clinton style it seems. I don't think the Clintons would know what to do if they weren't in the spotlight.

While this was shocking, I was even more shocked to read what people were saying about it. Given Clinton's speech, I was interested to see what kind of reaction her supporters were saying. So, I went onto her website to check it out. For starters I was bombarded with big red buttons asking me to contribute and sign up. I'd think that true followers of Clinton would be able to seek out those buttons themselves without having to be hit over the head with them. Not the most subtle and not a very good first impression. If I was undecided how I felt about Clinton, I'd be a bit put off to see that the first thing that she wanted from me was money and to sign up for whatever it was.

But, I made it through that mess and found the blog portion of the website and read some of the comments. I was shocked by what I found. Several people had posted comments, not surprisingly, and quite a few were women, also not surprising. What was almost horrifying to me was what they wrote. They offered support and encouraging, if not demanding, that she take this thing to the convention in Denver. Some suggested she run on the Independent ticket. All these things seemed a bit deluded, but you get those kinds of people anywhere you go.

What truly horrified me was that many of these people suggested and flat out said that it was degrading for Clinton, and women everywhere, that she should be told to get in line behind Barack Obama, a man. They also stated that it would be degrading for her to take the V.P. spot. I have never encountered such a bitter outlook on life and they are bitter. There is no other word to describe such mentality. Now, I'm all for women's rights and equality, but this isn't about gender or race and it's surprising to me that intelligent people cannot see that. (I'm sure that if Clinton had won that African Americans would have seen it as a race issue.)

People are so quick to see things as a judgment of outside appearance, such as gender and race rather than seeing what is truly being measured here and that is personality and issues. Granted, some people are going to judge based on things like gender, race, and even age, but that is not the way that everyone is going to vote and probably not even the majority. People don't want to look beyond what they can see to think to themselves, "Hey, there must be something else going on here that would make people not like my candidate" and to truly take a look at why they are voting for that particular candidate. They don't want to challenge their beliefs, reasons, and reality.

Sure, it's hard to challenge what you've known and felt for so long, but over the next several months I have to do the same. I realized last night as I was listening to the speeches given that I was immediately thinking, "Oh. I don't like John McCain" without having a firm reason. If the only reason why I'm voting for someone is because they're young, or because they're a woman, or African American, Democrat, Republican, I'm not voting for them for the right reasons. It has to be much more than just surface level reasons; it has to be about the issues and solutions that they present.

People are going to see all kinds of problems with the world if they keep looking at it from the perspective that every reason that they get turned down from a job, for example, is because they're a woman or African American. In some cases, it might be, but the majority of the time it's going to be because they just weren't as qualified for the position in any number of ways. They are too scared to face the real problems. I don't think that gender and race are as big of problems as people make them out to be.

It's time for people to stop hiding and start facing the truth.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Haircuts and Anniversaries

I meant to blog this weekend, but that didn't happen. So there are a few things to catch up on. First of all, I cut my hair...or I should say that I got my hair cut because I sure didn't cut my own hair. Now, normally this isn't a big deal, but this time I got 6 inches cut off. That's right...my hair was long enough to cut 6 inches from!! It's definitely a big change and it'll take me a few days to figure out how to make this look cute.

Ashton also got his hair cut, but nothing drastic. He has the same style that he's had for years. I'm pretty sure he was born with that style and that it just grows that way now. Good thing it looks cute. (Sorry Lance and Stacy...you lost. It's not short the way you hoped it'd be).

This past weekend marked a very special day for us. Yesterday was our one year anniversary! That's right...we've survived the first year of marriage. Woo hoo! We didn't really do much to celebrate, nothing fancy anyways, but we had a good time. Ashton made a mud pie, which was wicked good, Saturday and we watched a movie while eating some big ol' slices.

Yesterday, Ashton surprised me by taking me to Thanksgiving Point, where he had proposed to me. He proposed in January last year, so it was cold and snowy. I had never seen it with flowers so it was a nice to see that. We walked around and took some pictures. It was beautiful and brought back some great memories.

Here are some pictures of how my hair looked before I cut it, how it looks now, and other pictures from Thanksgiving Point.

So I felt a bit awkward just standing there by myself. Also, please keep in mind I hadn't done my hair that day because I was getting it cut. Not that I do my hair anyways...

Here is a view from the back so you can better see just how long it was. Now, it's all gone...

Here I am at Thanksgiving Point. Had to crop this down quite a bit so you could see kinda what my hair looks like now.

Here is an archway of flowers at Thanksgiving Point. So pretty!


This is the Gazebo where Ashton proposed to me. Behind it is a waterfall.

And here is Ashton! Took a lot of work to get him in a picture...he kept walking behind me.

Here's another picture of me ...figured I might as well pose.